My 'outer circle'

The blogosphere. It's the oddest thing- it really is. I mean there is no other way on this planet to peek into so many other people's lives. Most blogs are reassuringly mundane. They remind us that normal is normal and regardless of the economy, politics or our own personal turmoil kids will still say horribly embarrassing things at just the wrong moment and pretty much anyone can accidentally step in dog poop.

Then there are the inspirational blogs. Those created by incredibly strong people who want to share their story as it is happening. They show us the power of human spirit in the face of pain or overwhelming odds. How people can, and do, get up and keep going in situations we can't imagine for ourselves. We pray for them. We send love and sometimes money. We need to know this- to see it in action- to believe that God will give us the strength if ever we should need it. We are lifted even if we secretly believe we couldn't carry on if it was us.

But there is a third kind of story too. One we don't initially 'sign on' for but that we live through with our faraway friends through their blogs. Because every once in a while our bloggy friends will be struck by a horrible- often unforeseen- tragedy out of the clear blue. Their mundane posts about dogs eating daisies or the backaches of pregnancy are stopped dead in their tracks by a sudden illness or tragic accident. Our hearts break for these people we usually don't know and we rally around them, if only in our prayers. And we are stronger for this too because we know that today we are lucky but tomorrow it could be us. We remember to appreciate our gifts and never to take them for granted. I've had this type of 'out of the blue' tragedy and I pray that I'll never have another episode. But anything can happen and I'm occasionally in need of that reminder.

Is there a point to this babbling? I'm not sure. But one thing I can say is that I'm grateful for the blogosphere. I'm thankful that I have a place to blurt out the stuff that's sometimes too painful or personal or neurotic to tell my 'inner circle'. I realize that though this blogging I've developed an 'outer circle' of total strangers who have or may come to know me in a different but equally intimate way than my 'inner circle'. I've benefited from their encouragement when I was immobilized with fear and too scared of to reach out to my closest friends for support. And I'm grateful- eternally grateful. I only hope that I can make a worthwhile contribution back to the invisible safety net that I can now rest assured is below my daily high wire act.

Won't you be my neighbor?

The house next door is for sale. Actually the one next to it is for sale too. And one more down the block. Not unusual stuff these days. Many would find it depressing. I know I would if I wasn't such an upbeat and cheery person (HA!)

Anyway, I'm actually pretty psyched because I'm becoming increasingly sure that stars will align and the fates will look fondly upon me and deliver some fantastic new neighbors. People who are friendly and nice. People who will come over when I invite them to hang out. People who (please please please) I might someday consider to be my friends.

It could happen. Stranger things have before, you know. And until then I'll keep shooting 'go away' vibes to the oddballs I see touring the houses and 'yes, yes this is the one' vibes to the fun looking people. And if anyone out there is thinking of moving to a depressingly plastic suburb because of the fantastic schools-maybe you can be my neighbor! We could band together and overtake the PTO in a midnight coup or start a rumor that children who have more than 4 nanny organized playdates a week are less likely to get into the Ivy League college of their choice. . . it'd be a blast!

Overheard in Times Square

No! I don't hang out in Times Square! But when one lives in the 30's on the east side and is careless how they navigate to Zabar's they are occasionally caught in the tourist tide. But I digress. . .

I was walking down Restaurant Row so proud of myself for going across and uptown and back only having consumed 2 Gray's Papaya Hot Dogs (and no coconut champagne due to my diet but either way don't tell Ken because he'll go all 'no meat on Good Friday' which I totally forgot until after the second dog) when I overheard two young (everyone seems young these days- no?) kids saying the following "Oh there's ton's of places to eat here. There's TGI Fridays, The Olive Garden and an Applebees." If I'd been piggy enough to have bought a coconut champagne, and still had any left, I'd have dropped it to the ground then and there!

I mean such frivolous comments I expect from time to time but on RESTAURANT ROW???? What I don't understand is how it is that on these kids weren't struck down by lightening right then and there! Maybe God was too busy with the Good Friday thing. Makes me wish I'd remembered before I hit 72nd Street . . .

Off to the big city

Hello all! This afternoon I'm off to the Big Apple for a few days! I'd love to say that it's going to be fun filled and action packed but I'm really just going for a few days of R&R. A few mornings of sleeping in and bagel deliveries then long walks to my favorite old haunts for lunch and dinner (see a theme developing here?) then back for a nice glass of wine and a good book. No bright lights or Broadway plays- but that's my NY.

I'll keep you 'posted'!

It's a sunny day!

And all I can think about is my garden!! Of course I've completely gone overboard and ordered something like a million heirloom tomatoes but I'm not going to mention it to Ken until they arrive! Don't the experts recommend keeping the mystery alive in your marriage? I'm sure that's a reference to tomato purchases- aren't you?

Oh, and by the way, am I the only one who is still terrified of mispelling the words POTATOES and TOMATOES? Damn you Dan Quayle!!

Good news at last

Good news at last!!

The results from my tests came back benign! Yay!!

Thanks to everyone for their concern and support. You bloggies are the best!

The wait is over!!

No, not that wait (the Doctor still hasn't called) but the wait to hear about Jamie Oliver's new baby!

Petal Blossom Rainbow was born yesterday. Ok, I'm pretty loose about baby names but when you already have Poppy Honey and Daisy Boo at home do you really need to go to Petal Blossom Rainbow? Why not just take the extra step and throw in Fairydust as well???

Oh well, I still love him anyway :) Best of luck to all.

And now the wait. . .

Well here I am waiting. What I haven't mentioned is that I found a painful lump in my right breast Sunday. My gp saw me Monday and made an appointment for a mammogram and ultrasound today. (Shame on me for not getting a baseline mammogram last year when she mentioned it. . .)

Anyway, they did a bilateral mammogram and an ultrasound of the right breast. Looks like the painful part was a cyst but they also noticed a 'nodule' that they wanted to biopsy. I'm not a panic freak but this biopsy-able thing wasn't even on my radar and all of a sudden I was wanting an ultrasound of the left breast. Like really wanting it. So, I did my magic and convinced the very nice Radiologist to give a look on the left side.

Lo and behold she found what she called a "complex cyst" over there and she decided to slate me for the biopsy and cyst aspiration in a couple of hours. They suggested I go home and relax but I know me and I was sure that I'd just surf the web until I was whipped into a self induced panic so I bought a Danielle Steele, a sandwich and wasted some time..

Long story short, the complex cyst turned out to be a cyst and a mass so next thing you knew I had two cysts and two biopsies. They placed markers at the locations of the biopsies, told me not to worry and that I'll get my results at 3pm tomorrow.

And so I went home and thought slightly nervous I was ready to just wait it out until my darling Ken pointed out that they probably say that to everyone (THANKS KEN!). He's probably right. I mean what are they going to say- go home and freak for 24 hours???

So now I wait. I'll let you know what happens.

Food for thought

"Happiness is not the absence of problems but the ability to deal with them." H. Jackson Brown, Jr.